i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
