Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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