everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
