He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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