I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
