I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I fill condoms, not promises.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
