They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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