Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
