Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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