i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
did i walk over a car last night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
