HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
