I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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