I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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