is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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