Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
