we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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