By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
sex in a hospital.. check
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
