Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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