Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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