Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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