Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
