I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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