mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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