I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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