he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I will pee on everything he values.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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