I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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