Duck Duck Cougar?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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