ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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