Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize