To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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