you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
