I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction