forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.