There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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