i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
