Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think my fart just growled at me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
