I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
