I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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