it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
