did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fuck appropriateness.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
