had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
