May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
