"it" just moved
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
