Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
