areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
