At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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