I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
