Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
