About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
