Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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