Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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