What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Come on in and take your pants off
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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