He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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