YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think I won the penis lottery.
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I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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