i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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