she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the condom got lost in my hair
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
