Im at strip club and am horny
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
