i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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