Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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