Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
